Sunday, 1 January 2012

White Supremacist Meeting.

Grand Chancellor Henderson: All right, all right, settle down everyone. I know you’re all still excited from the holidays but we need to get this meeting started. Now, let’s recite the oath before…
Johnson: Sir?
G.C. Henderson: What is it Johnson?
Johnson: Well, it’s about snack sir.
G.C. Henderson: Save it Johnson, that’s housekeeping. All rise please…
Johnson: Sorry sir. It’s just that I was hoping to slip this in before the oath because it’s been bothering me a bit. Well a lot actually.
G.C. Henderson: For God’s sake Johnson, you know how we do this. I call the meeting to order, we recite the oath, then new business, then hate mongering, then snack and we finish with housekeeping.
Johnson: I know sir. It’s just that…
G.C. Henderson: It’s just what? I’m curious now Johnson. We’re trying to get our hate on here and you want to throw protocol out the window for your housekeeping crisis.
Johnson: It’s more of an injustice sir.
G.C. Henderson: You have ten seconds Johnson.
Johnson: Well, remember last week when it was my turn for snack and then I couldn’t make it because I had an ear infection? Then I called you at home and you said that I could get someone to fill in for me and I could do theirs later?
G.C. Henderson: (sighs) Continue
Johnson: Well I called Phil and he said he would do it, but you know Phil, he usually just does like, cheese whiz and crackers – no offence Phil.
Phil: Don’t worry about it.
Johnson: Anyway, it was Christmas, and you know how I always do my Nativity scene with the gingerbread house for the Inn and everything? Remember last year… I used the short bread for the wise men and little mini marshmallows for baby Jesus and the cheese ball for Frosty?
Phil: I love that one year how you put those white clan hats on the wise men made outta that whip cream.
Johnson: It was meringue, but thanks.
Phil: And how you got Frosty up in there, cause he don’t get represented enough.
G.C. Henderson: Seriously, do you ladies want to exchange recipes or can we get on with the meeting?
Johnson: Sorry sir. The problem is that Phil’s regular turn for snack is at the summer meeting and I don’t really have a summer theme, and let’s face it, I’m kind of known for my Christmas spread. I mean, I put a lot of money and effort into that meal. No offence Phil.
Phil: None taken pardner.
Johnson: So what I am proposing sir is that I do Jenson’s February snack, but I’ll use the Christmas theme.
G.C. Henderson: Are you kidding me?
Johnson: I already talked to some of the guys and they were really bummed because I didn’t do snack at Christmas. Face it, it’s the meeting with the highest attendance all year, and that isn’t because of the Hanukah threat. And this year, the roads were bad but everyone drove in anyway, only to find no Nativity scene but some abomination that Phil had thrown together, for under five bucks no doubt. Sorry Phil.
Phil: Its fine Buddy. I hate doing snack.
G.C. Henderson: Fine…anything. You can do Christmas in February if it means we can get started.
Jenson: Sir?
G.C.Henderson: What is it Jenson?
Jenson: I didn’t want to spoil it, but…well I was going to do a Valentines themed snack for February this year. Johnson’s pretzel reindeer last year really got me inspired to do something better. He…he can’t have my month.
G.C. Henderson: Oh God.

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