Saturday, 12 January 2013

How to dominate high school

Chartered accountant Gordon Levey, age 37, is magically transported back in time to grade 10 and is granted the rare opportunity to actually know then what he knows now.

Alex- Hey Gordie, thanks for picking me up for school. I can’t believe you just got your license yesterday and you’re already driving.

Gordon – Well, I did get 100 % on the test. It was pretty easy.

Alex – Sweet ride by the way. How come your dad’s letting you drive his car?

Gordon – Oh…I did his taxes for him and saved him like twelve grand, so he’s pretty happy about that.

Alex – Still, I wouldn’t let my kid drive a Cadillac.

Gordon – I know right? We’re going to be a bit late by the way. I have to stop for some coffee.

Alex - But Mrs. Walker said if I’m late again, she’s going to give detention.

Gordon - Jenny? Just bring her a coffee and she’ll let it slide.

Alex - You sure drink a lot of coffee for a kid in grade 10 Gordon.

Gordon - Well, it’s not all for me you know. I have to pick one up for Cynthia at the attendance desk. By the way, did you see what she was wearing yesterday? She looked awesome.

Alex - Ms. Grobowski?

Gordon - Yes…Cynthia.

Alex  - Dude….gross. She’s like 30.

At the school

Alex – You can’t park here Gordie, this is the staff parking lot.

Gordon – Don’t worry about it. I cleared it with Morley.

Alex – Principal McTavish?

Gordon – Yeah, he owes me. I did his taxes for him.

 Later that day

Mr. Sterling – Okay class, here are your projects back on creating a business plan for a small company.  Mr. Levey, I like how you challenged yourself by choosing a multinational oil conglomerate.

Gordon – Thank you sir.

Mr. Sterling – However Gordon, I’m not completely convinced this is your own work. I mean I myself didn’t even fully understand that whole concept of the graduated corporate merger.

Gordon – Well sir, I think you’ll find that the financial restructuring strategy I included explains how the merger would be a success after a mere 3 to 4 years.

Mr. Sterling – Oh… I see. Thanks for the coffee by the way.

Gordon – No problem sir.

On the drive home

Alex - Hey, thanks for the tip about the rum. My parents didn’t even notice some was missing.

Gordon – Like I said, never replace booze with water. Unless its vodka, but even then, only up to 20% 
water. Any more than that and you can taste it.

Alex - Got it. Can you get me some beer for this weekend? Just not that Guinness stuff again. It’s horrible.

Gordon - You’ve got to refine your taste man. Plus, no one steals it at parties.

Alex – Whatever. That reminds me. When did you start playing guitar? You sure have a lot of girls hanging around you since you started that band.

Gordon - That’s the beauty of it. I can’t really play, but the girls don’t seem to care.

 Alex – You’re a genius.

Gordon – Thanks. Hey, I’ve got an extra ticket to see a new band next week. You want to come?

Alex – Are you crazy? Next week is the Poison concert! They’re going to rule the world forever!

Gordon –  Fine, I’ll go see them by myself. They're called Nirvana.

Alex - Well, thanks for the lift. Oh God…my mom’s cutting the grass in her bikini top again.

Gordon - She is indeed! I wonder if she needs any help?

Alex – Go home Gordie.

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