The following is an excerpt from a broadcasting class at North Tonawanda Community College.
Instructor: Okay, settle down everyone. We’ve got a lot of material to cover today. We’ll start with news then move on to sports and weather. First I’m going to give you a scenario where there’s breaking news and you give me your lead off line. Okay, let’s say…a fire. Volunteers? Yes Mr. Riggs.
Riggs: Last night, North Tonawanda fire crews responded to a blaze on Erie Avenue.
Instructor: Excellent. Okay who’s next? Jenkins?
Jenkins: The North Tonawanda fire department was kept busy this afternoon as they battled a fire in an abandoned warehouse. Wait… it was a warehouse full of kittens! No… seniors! Seniors with kittens!
Instructor: Very thorough Jenkins. Okay folks, how would you handle a car crash?
Riggs: Right here sir!
Instructor: Go ahead Riggs.
Riggs: North Tonawanda fire crews were called to the scene of an accident this morning and had to use the Jaws of Life to free several victims from a wreck. I mean, a fiery wreck.
Instructor: Very eloquent Riggs. How about Football?
Jenkins: Me sir! North Tonawanda fire fighters put out a blaze that started during a tailgating party at the Bills game this weekend.
Instructor. Okay, that’s good Jenkins, but don’t forget your adjectives. I mean what was the size of the blaze? Was it blistering? Were there any seniors or kittens to be rescued from the blaze? What about you Jones?
Jones: How’s this sir? Firefighter Anthony Dabrowski of the North Tonawanda Fire Department stepped in for injured Bills quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick late in the second half in yesterday’s game. He threw six touchdowns and then put out a small fire in the Bills change room.
Instructor: Very good Jones. Excellent delivery.
Jenkins: I’ve got one sir. The North Tonawanda fire department was able to hold off the Cleveland Browns offensive line in Monday’s game to lead the Bills to a 48-0 victory. They then extinguished several car fires started by disgruntled Browns fans. Many seniors were comforted at the scene.
Instructor: Much better Jenkins. What about weather?
Jones: Snow squalls off Lake Erie forced North Tonawanda Fire crews to evacuate the city of Buffalo, including all the Buffalo firefighters. The entire city of Buffalo then caught fire, but fortunately, the North Tonawanda crew put it out.
Instructor: What is it Perkins?
Perkins: Do we always have to use the Fire Department for our breaking news? And our sports…and weather?
Instructor: I don’t know Perkins. Did President Obama put out the fire at Riggs’ house last year? Did Newt Gingrich show up in the middle of the night when Jenkin’s house burned down last week? Did the Recession put out that inferno last night on Third Avenue?
Perkins: Sorry sir. I didn’t know there was a fire on Third last night.
Instructor: It’s North Tonawanda Perkins. There’s always a fire.