1985
Salesman - Okay sir, your grand total for the
computer and the dot matrix printer comes to $2700, and I’ve signed you up for
a college level course in advanced programing, so you’ll know how to operate
it.
Me – Then I can play solitaire…right?
1994
Salesman – It’s called Windows 3.1 and it’s much
better than DOS. I’m guessing the good folks at Microsoft won’t be able to
improve on this operating system at least until the millennium.
Me – I’ll take it! Oh, and throw in that box of 100
floppy discs - those things never go bad.
Plus you never know when you’ll need to transport 1.4 megabytes of data.
1995
Me – What the hell man….Windows 95? Well if it comes
with that internet thingy and solitaire, I’ll take it.
Salesman – And, for an extra $600 you can have that
one with a CD burner. You can make mixed CDs which is just like making a mixed
tape…only way more complicated.
1999
Salesman – You‘re buying a computer at exactly the
right time. You can skip Windows 97 and 98 and go straight to Windows
Millennium – the greatest operating system ever. Well, either that or Windows 2000.
Me – What’s the difference?
Salesman – I’m not sure, but I can throw in a DVD
burner for an extra $600. You can burn your own DVDs and it only takes like…2
days.
2005
Me - I like that it has 2 USB ports, but are you sure
I need a 40 gigabyte hard drive? I’m not running NASA out of my living room you
know.
Salesman – You’ll be sorry. There is no such thing as
too much hard drive.
2009
Me - I need a bigger hard drive. I’ve been perfectly legally
downloading a lot of movies lately.
Salesman – This one has a 12 Godzilla-byte hard drive.
It will hold 7500 movies, 5 million photos and the entire archives of the
Smithsonian Institute.
2014
Me - Ok. I’ll take that one with Windows 8, even
though I know you have windows 10 in the back there, and you’re going to roll
it out as soon as I walk out the door. Also, I’ll need one with a retinal scanner,
warp speed processor, breathalyzer and flux capacitor. And solitaire.”
Salesman – And the cloaking device sir?
Me – How much extra?
Salesman – Only $600 dollars sir.
Me – I’ll take it.
